A Feeling of Indifference

I finished my exams two weeks ago. Thats right, TWO weeks ago. You would have thought, dear blog readers, that on finishing my exams and therefore ending my three year long relationship with university, that the first thing I would do is blog about it.

Well, apparently not. It is only now, on a rare day off, that I realise I haven’t blogged about the ‘end’. After some pondering over why on earth I didn’t leap at my laptop the minute I drunkenly came in the evening of my last exam, I realised that blogging has very much been a tool of procrastination and distraction since I began earlier this year. Now though, I have nothing to procrastinate and distract me from, and it would appear my blog has been the victim of this freedom.

Finishing exams, and University, has left me with a feeling of indifference. Similar to how I felt when I finished my dissertation, I am neither joyous nor sad. I predict however, that the sadness will hit once I have moved home to that place I am so fond of, Didcot. The next week is quite hectic, with end of term parties and then a summer school that I’m supervising, so I have begun the process of packing now, and already this has begun to make me feel slightly melancholy. All the things I have procured over the last three years, silly memorabilia that at one point was probably part of some hilarious in-joke between myself and my housemates, but that is now just a bit of crap.

A part of me is relieved. Living with 9 people is hard, as is the mess that comes with it. I wont necessarily miss the mice, the mysterious puddles of water that appear on the bathroom floor, or the left over takeaways that one particular housemate seems intent on leaving outside my bedroom door. And while a part of me longs for fresh food, cleanliness and quiet, I know that the minute I have all that, I will miss all this.

I wont go on too much, or I really am in danger of getting emotional, and I think I’ll save the memories and dedications for another time, perhaps after the madness that will be this weekend.

On a different note, I had my first interview last week. It was for the position of production junior at a small production company based in Manchester. Having not had a ‘proper’ interview before, it is safe to say I was more nervous about this than my exams. I went along, and after a very short interview, was home half an hour later. Immediately I thought it was so short because they didn’t like me. I didn’t get the job, so maybe I was right. Who knows.

But, all is not bad news. I found out last week that I have made it onto coveted scheme, The Network. This is a five day placement involving workshops, master classes and activities for those wanting to make it in television, at the Media Guardian Edinburgh International Television Festival. Thousands of people applied and only 100 got on, so as you can imagine I am very happy!

So, as university comes to an end, I am plunged into a hiatus of uncertainty. But for now, I have an amazing summer ahead, with Italy, Benicassim, and now Edinburgh to look forward to, some amazing people to spend time with and some doors to open and explore. Bring it on world, I have my lashmina on and I’m ready to PARTY.

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